Don't wanna squish it

I've been bitten by the travel bug again... I want to go somewhere. But where?

I've noticed that this humble blog has hits from all over the world (except South America...what's up with that?). I know I've said before that it doesn't matter to me if no one comments on my blogs. I value them, yes, but I don't require them to feel heard.

Today, I'm asking for comments on this post. I'd like to hear your opinions on a possible travel destination. Do you live in an historically significant city/town? I wanna hear about it! Does your city/town have an extraordinary pub? I wanna hear about it! Do you love your hometown? I've been researching different places, but I don't want to miss a potential great vacation spot just because I don't know it's a possibility.

Here's what I'm thinking:

• I'm open to something inside OR outside the US (I'm in)
• Small town or big city? Doesn't matter, I like both
• I'd prefer (though I won't completely rule out) to not fall into extreme tourist traps. Bus tours with a large group of Americans?... ehhh... not so much.
  
• Safety is always an issue, so I'm thinking Baghdad is sort of out of the question. :)
• Language differences don't scare me.
  

I want to hear from you! Talk to me! :)

I love the Onion!

I have this problem all the time!!!

Friend Who's Into Politics Makes You Feel Stupid Again

CHICAGO—Nate Carney, 28, your well-read, politically minded friend of eight years, made you feel ignorant again Tuesday with his incisive...

I *have* to chime in

So now it's Feminism that is bad for you? I have one word for those who actually believe that gender equality makes you ill: Bullshit. (Be sure to say it with a thick southern accent).

In a statistics class once, my prof used an example to illustrate the way the word "correlation" was used. For example, these two occurrences are correlated: When the number of ice cream sales in New York increase, the number of drownings in Florida also increase. They are correlated because both numbers increase. Does one cause the other? No. They have nothing to do with each other. Correlation does not imply causation. (BTW, ice cream sales and drownings both increase in summer.)

What I get from the above article is that more women are entering professions/jobs that have traditionally been considered more risky and have usually been done by males. Does that mean that we should all throw up our hands and run back to our kitchens squealing because it's could possibly be dangerous?

Feminism gives us a choice to pursue what professions we want. Wanna work on an oil rig, sister? Go for it. Wanna stay at home, sister? Go for it. Wanna get your PhD in Physics, sister? Go for it. Wanna be a bricklayer, sister? Go for it.

According to the article, when the instances of gender equality go up, the level of sickness goes up. Gender equality is not going to give you lung cancer. Working in a coal mine might, but at least we have that choice.

I think that anti-feminists will use this article as ammunition "proving" that women shouldn't do "men's" work. Hopefully they read the last paragraph of the article:

Anastasia de Waal, head of family policy at the think-tank Civitas, urged caution in interpreting the findings: "The danger is that the data will be interpreted as a warning against shaking up divisions of labour. In fact what Sweden needs is complete gender equality with, for example, men entering the private sphere to the extent that women have entered the public.''

Oh yeah... as a funny side note, I think this response to the same article by Pithy Conjecture is very clever.

Kid lost in the woods?

I will admit that the first time I heard the story about the kid lost in the woods, I had a quick pang of fear for the parents. Not after I read THIS update.

I just have to say that if that were my kid, I would beat his ass. If I had done anything nearly that stupid as a kid, my parents would have brought out the belt. And used it.

Here's why he was separated from the rest of the campers:

The Boy Scout who wandered away from his troop Saturday in the North Carolina mountains no longer wanted to go camping and hoped to hitchhike a ride home, his father and a fellow Scout said today.

Seriously? He just decided he didn't want to finish, so he knowingly walked away? What this kid did shows that he has never been held accountable for his actions. These are the selfish kinds of things that kids do when parents do not say 'no'. (using mocking voice) "Oh sure, little Johnny, you don't have to do anything you don't want to! Let's let everyone else bend over backwards so that you are not inconvenienced in the slightest!"

It gets even better:

tracked to [...] a ridge near Basin Creek Trail, a mile or so north of the campsite where he was last seen Saturday. "He said, 'I'm hungry. Give me some water,'

"Give me some water"?!?! Are you freaking kidding me? How 'bout "May I have some water?" or even, "Could I PLEASE have some water?"

Apparently, in this Boy Scout doesn't feel strongly about the environment or littering because:

He also had some supplies; searchers found his mess kit, a candy wrapper and a potato chip bag within a mile of the campsite.

Riiiiiight. He decides to take off on his own, knowing that people would worry, while leaving trash in the woods. Uh huh. Sounds like a real innocent cherub, this one.

[...] ended a four-day ordeal that had launched a massive search involving 100 rescuers, planes with heat-sensing equipment and dog teams.

I *truly* hope his parents are held financially accountable for the resources that city used to search for that brat. I have absolutely no sympathy for him now. He's been rewarded with the media circus and obligatory hospital visits where the staff are kissing his ass... who wants to bet that he does something similar or as equally stupid in the future? Say it with me now: Positive reinforcement.

See, I work closely with students. I have noticed this pervasive entitlement attitude. Guess what, parents? Your kid is not a goddamn special snowflake. Your kid is just as average as everyone else his/her age.

Another one bites the dust

They're falling like flies! I just got notice this morning of another pregnancy. Because the universe revolves around me (this is sarcasm), this means I will lose another friend. I'm actually pretty sad about this right now. As much as people claim that the childfree and childed can remain friends, I haven't seen much of this in practice. Sure, sure, you say it takes work to keep these friendships, but what I find happens is that the conversation turns to (and remains on) diapers and baby talk. I can oblige for a little while (as I exhaust my baby knowledge and pick up a few new bits of info), but I really don't want to hear about some kid's vomit and poo. Why is it that parents always want to talk about that?

I have another group of friends with which we eat dinner once a month. Several of the women are pregnant. I have a sneaking suspicion that the group will be disbanded within 2 months of their births, or if not disbanded, then a sharp crash in attendance. The wine flow has already come to a screeching halt. And the conversation has been dominated by morning sickness and nurseries.

Understand, though, that I am happy for them because parenthood is what they wanted and all of them chose this route. These are all very smart and creative women and I'm glad *they* will give the world smart and creative children.

In the mean time, I'll compose a congratulatory response for my newly pregnant friend. Inside, though, I'll be selfish.

Generational gap?

I live in my own little world most days. I intentionally associate with people I like; people I can get along with. I prefer to be around people who care about animal welfare, the environment, fighting bigotry, etc. I don't understand people who don't want to challenge the unfairness in society. If you are a person who does not mind homophobia or sexism, you're most likely never going to spend much time around me. I just prefer to not have that negativity in my life.

It's easy to control who your friends are, but not who you're related to. What's the adage? "You can pick your friends and your nose, but you can't pick your family." Or something like that.

(begin rant)
My parents simply cannot do short visits. I'm not sure why they assume I want long weekend visits (as in Friday - Sunday). It usually takes me a couple of days to unwind from a family visit. So, this is me unwinding. :)

As I have stated in past posts, I was raised in a small, conservative town in east Texas. My mother has lived there for over 30 years, never venturing outside. My stepfather is from an even *smaller* town and moved to their current town maybe a decade ago. What really bothers me about them is that they have no concern for social issues.

Racism? Well, it doesn't affect them, so why should they care?
Sexism? Well, we just don't talk about salaries so gender inequality doesn't exist.
Homophobia? Those people can do what they want, but the Bible says.....

When they come to my city, they always have so much fun. I love my city. There is so much to do here and SO many different people. I LOVE seeing and meeting radically different people. However, when they come for a visit, I spend my time shielding them from, well, everything that is different from them.

Here's an example from a time that I didn't protect them: We were standing in line at a make-up/hair products store. One of the cashiers was obviously transgendered. For socially conscious people, this is a non-issue. It had absolutely no bearing on the situation. However, I hear my stepfather exclaiming in a very loud whisper (about 10 feet behind me) that "It's a MAN! It's a MAN! Oh my God! It's a MAN!" It makes for a funny story later, but at the time I was so pissed. I still cannot understand why he couldn't keep his trap shut, even if he was mortified.

We go shopping in the affluent, mostly white malls. That's where they feel comfortable. Hey mom, wanna go to the uber-hippie shop and see what they have? No?

Another thing that really irks me about them is their constant need to monitor everyone's actions around them. I think this stems from living in a town where everyone knows everyone's business. Going out to dinner with them is a nightmare. The servers are held to an impossibly high standard. it's like they assume our table is the ONLY table in the restaurant and the waiter/ress must make sure we are first. What's that mom? The waitress was too slow bringing your tea so that's a dollar off her tip? Calm the fuck down!!

I have seen them, in every outing, get offended or indignant if random passerby doesn't say "excuse me" or "please" or if said stranger doesn't recognize their obvious right of way.

I really wish I could say "no" when they start talking about visiting, but that might be too mean. They are aware of my opinions on they way they behave and their beliefs. My mom has told me that *I'M* intolerant because I don't accept their intolerance. Yeah, that's the way it works, mom.

Maybe I should move to Australia. Or maybe the Netherlands or some other country that recognizes gay marriage. Then they'd NEVER come visit me!

Is this an unattainable goal?

Recently, I've been on a "goal" kick. Meaning, I have them, then I complete them. I think it's truly amazing how much one can accomplish when a little effort is applied.

Something I've always been curious about, but assumed it could only be done by "them", is trading on the stock market. I've been doing my own research reading about how and when, though I need to do a lot more. In about six months I'll have money to spare to actually do this.

I am soliciting your opinions:

• Is it wildly inappropriate for the "little guy" to assume he/she can trade stocks?
  
  
• Do you think it is a waste of money?
  
  
• I assume you don't have to be a genius to do it (I SO am not), but you have to have some common sense, right?
  
  
• Is there anyone out there in the vast internet universe that trades (even minimally successfully) while working a full time job?
  
  
• Am I a geek for even worrying about this?
  
  

That is all. Any opinions welcome.

Nothing to complain about?

Things have been going SO well recently. I blame the weather. It's only during Spring and Fall that I love living in Texas, but during this time it is worth it.

I still have been following the news, but I haven't felt compelled to spout off my opinions here. Sure, I could criticize Brittany, but I don't want to give that freak show any more news than she gets.
I'm only mildly interested in the Jesus tomb story. I don't give a rat's ass if it turns out to be his bones or not. I just don't see how it affects anything today. Religious nuts are still going to believe what they want no matter what info is shown to be truth or not.

I'm hungry.

This new show about Fifth graders being smarter than adults sounds funny. I haven't seen it yet, but I plan to.

Wouldn't this be awesome?!

Home Exchange

If you had the time, wouldn't this be great? See, I don't want to travel to touristy places. I want to experience things as a local.

Now I'll be dreaming about this all day. sigh.

Feminism, Part III - Other Issues

I did some random searching of the word "feminism" on google and on blogger.com. I was highly disappointed in the number of personal blogs that said "feminism is useless now" or "feminism only hurts women" or other phrases along those lines. The most shocking part for me was that a lot of these blogs were written by women!

Ladies, there are still women in the world who are beaten and/or killed by "loved" ones. There are still women in the world who have their genitals cut on. There are still women in the world who are stoned for having sex, for being raped or for just being women. In a less physical sense, there are still women in the world who aren't paid as much as men for doing the same jobs.

How could you possibly say that feminism is no longer needed?!?! Feminism provides a voice for those who would otherwise not have it. It provides education to both men and women in order to stop the cycles of violence and/or oppression.

I will tell you what feminism is NOT. Feminism does not ask for rights OVER men. I see this "argument" against feminism often in the above mentioned blogs. We're not asking to be put on pedestals, treated like queens, or "given" any extra rights. We want the S. A. M. E. rights. We want the fact that we *are* women to not even be an issue.

Here is the dictionary.com definition of feminism: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. Anyone who attempts to pervert this definition by claiming extra rights is not a true feminist.

One feminist issue that is close to my heart (that I haven't discussed in previous posts) is how women are viewed sexually. Women are not sexual objects! I'll repeat: WOMEN ARE NOT SEXUAL OBJECTS! This sentence is completely different from women liking sex. There is a difference.

My body is not put in this earth for any man's sexual use or viewing pleasure, not even my husband's. It's for mine. Cat calling, whistling and random shouts of "Hey baby!" are never welcome. I do not pretend to believe that men who do this actually think that the women they shout at are beautiful. To the contrary, this is a method of gaining power. This is a way to hold power over someone they feel is inferior. If they call attention to the target and ridicule her ("hey, nice tits!"), they are attempting to make themselves feel superior.

Personally, I do not wear clothes to solicit attention from men. I do not care to hear how great my ass looks in pants. I happen to like sparkley shirts and if I wear one, it's only for my delight. Some men find it so hard to hear that not all women do things for men's pleasure.

On a similar note, it really bothers me when I watch TV and see some scantily clad babe used to sell, oh, I don't know... soap. It's as if the product pushers are saying "Hey guys... use this soap and you'll have a skinny, big busted chick wash your back for you". Ok, so that's not actually a commercial, but you get the drift. Next time you are just watching TV, verbalize the message that the commercial is sending. Beer commercials are the worst: "Drink (insert any brand) beer and you will meet the hottest chick at the bar." They all look the same, too. Uber-thin, gleaming white teeth and cleavage for miles.

I am very proud to call myself a feminist. I look forward to the day when we no longer add gender descriptors to titles. Instead of being a "female engineer", one day she'll just be an "engineer". Until that time comes, however, we still need the feminism movement to help nudge people out of their comfort zones and to make people question their beliefs on these particular social issues.

Ladies, YOU may have all the equality you want, but there are plenty more in the world that don't. Those are the ones that need our voices the most.

My wish

Sometimes I get so mad at myself. I read these articulate, politically charged blogs (specifically, Jane Awake, Bark/Bite, and Like It Is) and I just mentally kick myself because I think "Why can't you write as well as they do?!?" In case any of you see that I am writing about you, just know that I love your writing style and admire the fact that you can put coherent ideas together much better than I can.

I suppose it's something I have to work on, like baking! I should just pick a topic (a narrow one) and start writing.

I feel very strongly about abortion (support it unequivocally), feminism (women's rights) and other social issues (gay marriage, immigration, religion). I guess I should start there. They're just such broad topics and I don't have a LOT of time to write.

I just thought I'd rant about me for a minute, instead of others. :)

Random thing that bugs me

You know what really irks me? When students want to change their ethnicity on their files. It seems like a harmless data piece, but it's such a loaded check box with differing effects. I'm not certain why this bothers me so much. No, I do and I'll explain.

I have had to deal with this several times and it just seems... wrong. See, it's never someone coming in to correct a typo. No one ever inadvertently marks "White" when they are "Black". It's always the "White" students that did a little research over the holiday to find their Native American roots or those that suddenly decide to celebrate their Cuban heritage that want to take the "White" from their record and put something else.

To me, it just seems like cheating. I'm probably going to make enemies here, but this is my blog. I realize that in the academic world Affirmative Action exists. I think that in theory it works and it has done a lot to advance minorities in fields they otherwise wouldn't be let into. That part is great. The downside is that because I'm not a minority, I don't get the same kind of help. I am a poor, working class gal who happens to be white. I grew up poor and went to a crappy public school. Guess how much financial aid I'll get for higher education? None. But if I change my stats on my record, suddenly I get special financial treatment when I didn't before.

I think that if you start school as a "white" person, you should finish as a "white" person and save the financial aid for someone else who is actually an oppressed minority.

To these people who change their ethnicity then run off to financial aid to reap the benefits of being a new minority, I say "Bleh".

I took this!

I took this yesterday after the rain stopped. I just liked the colors.

Feminist Icon in Italy

Did you guys read the story about Veronica Berlusconi, the wife of former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, on CNN today? Here's the story in case you didn't.

I think she's a fantastic role model for standing up to her sexist husband. What a great example for her daughters and son. In fact, that's why she did what she did.

You have my utmost respect, Mrs. Berlusconi.

Finally, an ON topic post

When I was in college, I took a Psychology of Women course. It was definitely a life changing semester for me and it was also one of the most challenging. The university I went to was in a small town, so it was still very conservatively run. I fell in love with the professor immediately. Her teaching style employed the use of shock to get us to look at our own prejudices and write about them.

She stood at the front of the class on the first day describing herself as a "Jew" instead of a "Jewish person" or something else more mild. She liked the term "Jew" because it was an in-your-face label that made people uncomfortable. I remember being shocked (it worked) and really thinking about the labels we use to self identify. This is not the point of this post, but that would make for an interesting future one.

In this class, we had to read essays by known and unknown feminist authors then write more essays about them. This was the first time I'd really been exposed to feminist ideas in a positive atmosphere. Boy howdy, did it open up the floodgate. :) This classroom was my tiny island of hope in the middle of the ocean of prejudice in which I was raised. There were a few guys in the class, but they did not create any tension (second shock for me). Surprisingly, the one student who really butted heads with the prof was an older woman in retirement age. She almost exploded one day during the discussion on how a marriage can have detrimental effects on women. I guess she didn't like the mirror she was forced to look in. That's my judgement there...I don't really *know*. She dropped the class the next day and I never saw her again.

Anyway, the purpose of this post was to share an essay (that we read in that class) by Gloria Steinem. It's called If Men Could Menstrate. It's written as a humor piece, not intended to be serious. It does, however, highlight how society paints "manly" things as "better".

Enjoy!